I hear him stir.
Oh, maybe he’ll fall back to sleep. The tiredness weighs upon my entire body.
A few seconds later, I hear his little cry.
He needs me.
As much as I love my sleep, I have to remember what I’m here for. Why I’m needed. Who it is that needs my help, comfort and love.
What a blessing! How humbling! That this child doesn’t need just anyone; he needs me.
I pull myself out of the coziness of the blankets and pillows. I find my warm slippers. (It is winter in Minnesota, after all.) I pick him up and cradle him to my chest. He is so small, so soft, so sweet.
While I am feeding him, I doze off in the quiet of the early morning hours. Sometimes I am more awake if something is on my mind. But really, I am only half asleep, half awake.
I have attempted prayer, but it has only been a little attempt. I almost gave up trying, because I would get lost in the words of the prayer. Did I already say that part? How many Hail Marys have I already prayed? Is my mind really focused? Is it OK if I am praying without being completely mindful of His presence?
Then, I received a quote that spoke to me during this sleep-deprived phase I am in. It reminded me of His love, even if my prayers and thoughts aren’t completely focused. He loves me, even when I am half asleep, and He desires to spend those few moments with me. To keep me company in the darkness of the night. Because He knows I need Him, just like my baby needs me.
You were wondering how to use those moments when you wake up in the night. Speak to Me of love, ardently desiring your next Communion … Call Me by the gentlest names, even when you are half asleep.
—Our Lord to Gabrielle Bossis
from He and I
…continuing to be grateful …
#40 … for reading a quote or prayer that fits perfectly with what I’m experiencing at that exact moment
#41 … for the blessing and honor of being a mom
#42 … sweet baby yawns and sweet baby stretches
#43 … for the priviledge of leading my daughters’ Little Flowers group
#44 … for delighting in the unique individual my oldest daughter is blossoming into
#45 … for the feel of new, wool yarn—and the excitement of casting on a new project
#46 … for my new Rosary
For more lists of gratitude, visit A Holy Experience.